20 old before, I married, the feeling after marriage is very good, the love of that time is far not blundering now. The man is old I am 10 years old, be in charge of absolutely to the family, it is a good man on traditional sense. Be in especially economically, he is paid only to me, do not pursue what is asked for. Get at that time the edification of the sort of traditional culture, I think that ability is true family, he gave me the life that a woman wants.

But, such life stops abruptly in a certain moment. 6 years ago, he is abrupt go to the bad, left me forever after two hours. The blow of this kind of arise suddenly did not give me any thought preparation, in very long period of time, I cannot accept the fact that the husband leaves. What did I experience to make be overwhelmed with sorrow for the first time.

I am Chongqing person, but we bring the home in Wuhan. The head after the husband goes two years, I envelop the shadow in funeral husband from beginning to end under, cannot go, the mood is exceeding and bad, psychosis is very poor. By 2004, a friend sees me to Wuhan, she says I go down to be no good so, want me to talk about confabulate with others more. I am in Wuhan friend of it doesn't matter, also do not know how to return a responsibility, the first love lover that hears of me is in Chongqing, the friend does his utmost agitate Hui Yu goes looking for him to chat.

I say my connection not to go up he, actually I am not to want to contact, at that time, besides new husband, I am very repellent to other man. But the friend is very enthusiastic, ask about the telephone number of first love male friend to me unexpectedly finally.

Male friend of I and first love is neighbor neighbour, his mother likes me very much. When I come forward 20 years old, I and he went when educated youth, and live together. Actually we are in fact husband and wife, besides doing not have that piece of marriage certificate. Accept the limit of that time, feeling is very pure at that time, comfortable to him the husband that does not suit to become me, I had not thought carefully.

We divided a hand later, I go to Beijing reading an university, mix from now on his mail message is devoid. The end is old, begin new, I also do not feel to have how many regret, because of every paragraphs of feeling too won't perfect.

The head that reads an university in a few years, I am returned can from neighbor over there now and then hear a few newses about him, but also won't think carefully. Later, male friend of I and first love established new family severally.

First love male friend must not arrange me too or choice and he is together

I do not want to call to him actually, I am afraid that I resemble auspicious forest elder brother's wife, before him persistently complaint talk about again and again, what I do not want to let him see me is abjection, do not want to let him feel I am to be in more abjection when just remember him. But after lying between period of time, I still made a telephone call to him. The phone puts through that is flashy, I cry so that resemble a lachrymal person immediately, resemble finding a dear one general. I did not ask about his marriage, I am not holding this purpose in the arms to call to him.
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